Ten Reasons Parties Should be Tax Deductable

1. They help foster closer relationships between many different people; many of which have probably never met before. In line with the government stance on building inter-racial friendships, parties should be promoted, as it involves conversations, meeting new people, all in a happy environment, (unless of course, you were forced to go to the house of a friend of a family member filed with children of other parents who sit in awkward silence, waiting for mummy and daddy to get bored and take them home).
2. They increase the national birthrate; many a time, humans have met their life partner through parties. In a drunken state, many have fathered children too. So far, one movie, "Knocked Up", has been made about this phenomenon.
3. They are fun; it is my strong belief that fun should be subsidised. I mean, if the theatre and local cinema all receive large checks from the various government agencies, then why not large gatherings of drunken, hormone-charged teenagers?
4. Like it or not, the people who go to parties will eventually become voters. Why shouldn't the government leap at this opportunity to appeal to its key demographic?
5. They are expensive; Any idea what they are charging for a bottle of vino nowadays? Its enough to make you want to get drunk!
6. Its good for the economy. Any frequent party-goer, (myself not included), will tell you that gatherings are then best time to gain contacts, making it easier to do business. In a free economy, ease of transactions result in increased business activity. With all this money moving around, there is nowhere to go but up!
7. Its beneficial, much like the tax deduction on books, parties actually helps people. There is nothing worse then social alienation. Take the incident at Virginia Tech for example; outcast teen goes berserk and carnage ensues. I rest my case.
8. Parties tell the world what a developed nation we are. Looking back on the pictures in a review on new Russia in a magazine, the pictures of prosperity were shown as people dancing in nightclubs, and the most expensive real estate can be found in Moscow. China on the other hand, had pictures of skyscrapers, set to a backdrop of smog and other pollution and what stories about them are prevalent in the news now? Its either the lead in the foodstuffs, or bird flu.
9. It gives everyone a chance to have one. I think equality is very important. Who are we, as a nation, to deprive poorer people the opportunity to celebrate in grand style?
10. I just had one. And I feel slightly poorer now that it is done.

Driving Lesson, Part 1

Hi there! This is the first installment of what would hopefully be only a five part series. To those of you who are familiar to the English language, you would probably guess its about my driving lessons. Had my first one today. Was introduced to the instrument that I will eventually be using to persuade the driving tester that I am not one to pay bribes.

The Kancil, (also known as the Daihatsu Ceria, but basically a re-badged Daihatsu Mira) was the first car to be launched by the local car company, Perodua which is shorthand for Perusahaan Otomobil Kedua Berhad (in English, Second Automobile Manufacturer Limited Corporation). With such an imaginative name for such an innovative company, you would expect the car to drive as brilliantly as the makers wanted it to. And indeed, it does handle like a mousedeer.

So, I set the time for my first class for 3pm. I figured, I could take the 2pm bus home, have enough time for a shower, before diving head first into the world of automobile commendeering. Thankfully however, my dad picked me up from school at 1, and without having to change busses, I arrived home at 1.30. Great, enough time for a shower AND lunch. And maybe a little light reading, maybe check my e-mails, stuff like that.

As a kiasu, I got ready and was on my house porch 15 minutes early. 3pm came and went. 3.10 came and went. 3.15pm, I decided to call him. "I'm on my way," he said, as if I didn't know that.

Don't you hate it when people who are late always respond with a "I'm almost there/I'm just entering the carpark/I was caught in a jam, but now I'm only 7 minutes away." Once you're late, I don't care where the heck you are. I just wanna know how much you value our friendship until you have the balls to tell me that you overslept. I could not be my Sociology teacher. I would have strangled many students before the police take me away. But I digress.

He did show up about 20 minutes late. I made a big fuss about checking the time, but he didn't notice it. Still, its probably better not to make the man angry. I entered the car and was greeted by a large toothy grin and the stale smell of tobacco. Great. A smoker. I wanna learn how to drive, not develop a bad case of emphysema.

We did most of my practice runs in the hills towards the inside of my residential area. That's fine. Barely anyone knows me there. But did my car had to stall coming out of the exact junction where my neighbour had bought his second house? "Hello uncle!" I said, sounding as if it was the most logical thing to do to stop the car in the middle of a road, attempting to restart the engine. "Having your first driving lesson?" he asked. However did you guess.

Mercifully I did get the engine started and was quickly on my way. When I say quickly, I mean speeds in excess of 20km/h. "We are really moving now!" said the instructor. I was slightly skeptical, as we were being overtaken by his cigarette smoke.

Being at the wheel of a car is an experience that is incomparable. Its is just so effortless. Push the pedals, and the car moves a bit. Push it some more, and the car goes faster. It make you want to just go a lot faster, push it into the high gear and floor it. It also encourages murderous thoughts in your head. "There goes my primary school teacher who made me do squats because my handwriting was so bad. Its a secluded area, and he has his back to me. Tempting.

2 hours of this, and 4 near misses later, he turned to me and said, "You are doing well for your first lesson. As your reward, you can drive home. What did you say? Drive from an area where I am relatively obscure, to my street where people recognise me? Where that house across the road practices badminton in the evenings? The road my neighbour takes long walks with his grandkids? Yeah. Sure.

I made it. With only 3 stalls, I managed to make it home without killing anyone. Hopefully part 2 will be better. I would love to see what this hunk of junk will do on the highway!

Getting Away From it All

Through my daily stresses of college life, I need some moments of relaxation. "My Time", as some therapists put it. A little downtime, away from all the assignments, research papers, hum-drum homework, and so on. But nowadays, where can a man truly go to get away from it all?

My room? There's just too much distractions. Or is that to little? Either way, Staying in a room where I'm within an arm's reach of textbooks? In a room where my digital assignments are? Just up the road from where 3 other people from college live? I might as well be in a classroom.

I have tried Starbucks. Their hot chocolate is amazing! I like the chairs, I like the ambiance, I also enjoy the fact that their employees greet you as you walk through the door. They also ask you polite questions, about the weather and traffic, almost as if they are genuinely interested! (Although I must say, I don't recognise any of them in the many times I have been there).

There is only so much time you can spend in a coffeeshop, especially if you are alone. I mean, the toilets; they are filthy. I'm not going to bring my bag in there, even though, with no one to keep an eye out for them, I don't really have any alternative.

The gym? Don't get me started.

What I need, is a true getaway. I need a vacation. I need a place where the TV gets satellite, the beds are queen sized, and the air-conditioning, never off. I need to check into a hotel. I came upon this realisation while watching "The Sopranos", a wonderful show that doesn't involve singing at all. The main character checks into a hotel for relaxation and a nice steak via room service. Sure he was also there hiding from the police for killing someone who probably didn't deserve it, but that's beside the point.

Nowadays, if you were to say, I am going to check into a hotel for a bit, people will immediately say, "I didn't know you have a girlfriend." Whatever happened to the times when a person would just check into a bed and breakfast just to de-stress?

I have been to many hotels, some good, some average, some that just made me want to go back to school. Most of my hotel experiences are at middling rooms at 5-star hotels. Pretty safe bets. I remember the hotel in Singapore we always stayed at; the Marriott Hotel. Despite the elderly looking exterior, its not too shabby. Outside, we could see the traffic on the street and the ventilation ducts on the building across the road. But only on a clear day. With the haze, you could mistake the window for a non-functional big screen TV.

There are worse places to stay, namely the Singgahsana Hotel (Singgahsana meaning, "Stay Over There", probably the same as "Stay Somewhere Else". I certainly would have liked to). I had to attend a conference there three times, and if it were not the room with the view of the parking lot, it would be the one opposite the noisy monorail line. The television was small and had only two colours, grey and green. The latter was a shade I re-discovered, growing under the bathroom sink. The soap was small, the water slow and lukewarm, and the beds uneven and smelt of sweat. Its no wonder we all snuck out after curfew to the nearest food shop for a roti and coffee.

The Holiday Villa in Langkawi! Now there's relaxation. Grand views of the pool and of the beach past it from the balcony, excellent BBQ beef at the buffet, white sand, and the luxurious taxis waiting outside to whisk us away to a mountain somewhere for some fresh air and touristy fun. It would have been my favorite experience if it weren't for the jellyfish that stung me everytime I went into the ocean. Must have been my suntan lotion.

I need to get away soon. The room service calls for me! For now though, I'll just turn off my cellphones, turn on the air conditioning, and listen to my iPod.

I'm back

I'm ashamed to say it but, I have neglected my writings so much that now, my competitors all have better blogs then I do. How did I let things detiorate this far? My products are now backloged for about a month! And in this rapidly moving business of blogging, not updating your blog for a month is like still selling cars without electric windows, or standard airbags.

I wasn't conserned at first, I always considered myself to be offering a different product then others, but then, I saw brand X. Same non-life story. None of that stupid, minute-by-minute explanations of what one ate for lunch, and who was there, and that it was raining, etc.

In business, it is very important to stay one step ahead of the pack. That means pouring money into research projects, that will increase revenues. Or perhaps a scaleback, that would improve EBITA all round. Dunno what that means, but sounding smart is just half the job.

My 18th birthday is coming up. There will not be a big celebration, just a small group of friends having lunch at my expense. To all you freeloaders I have invited, you better bring me something nice.

18 years is quite a landmark. It is of course, first and foremost, the legal drinking age in this country. That is a large milestone on the way to adulthood. But is it as big a point in life as say, my 21st birthday? That's when I will be able to exercise a little personal freedom and make my opinions known by the small act of voting.

Democracy. Nice touch, I guess.