Ten Reasons Parties Should be Tax Deductable

1. They help foster closer relationships between many different people; many of which have probably never met before. In line with the government stance on building inter-racial friendships, parties should be promoted, as it involves conversations, meeting new people, all in a happy environment, (unless of course, you were forced to go to the house of a friend of a family member filed with children of other parents who sit in awkward silence, waiting for mummy and daddy to get bored and take them home).
2. They increase the national birthrate; many a time, humans have met their life partner through parties. In a drunken state, many have fathered children too. So far, one movie, "Knocked Up", has been made about this phenomenon.
3. They are fun; it is my strong belief that fun should be subsidised. I mean, if the theatre and local cinema all receive large checks from the various government agencies, then why not large gatherings of drunken, hormone-charged teenagers?
4. Like it or not, the people who go to parties will eventually become voters. Why shouldn't the government leap at this opportunity to appeal to its key demographic?
5. They are expensive; Any idea what they are charging for a bottle of vino nowadays? Its enough to make you want to get drunk!
6. Its good for the economy. Any frequent party-goer, (myself not included), will tell you that gatherings are then best time to gain contacts, making it easier to do business. In a free economy, ease of transactions result in increased business activity. With all this money moving around, there is nowhere to go but up!
7. Its beneficial, much like the tax deduction on books, parties actually helps people. There is nothing worse then social alienation. Take the incident at Virginia Tech for example; outcast teen goes berserk and carnage ensues. I rest my case.
8. Parties tell the world what a developed nation we are. Looking back on the pictures in a review on new Russia in a magazine, the pictures of prosperity were shown as people dancing in nightclubs, and the most expensive real estate can be found in Moscow. China on the other hand, had pictures of skyscrapers, set to a backdrop of smog and other pollution and what stories about them are prevalent in the news now? Its either the lead in the foodstuffs, or bird flu.
9. It gives everyone a chance to have one. I think equality is very important. Who are we, as a nation, to deprive poorer people the opportunity to celebrate in grand style?
10. I just had one. And I feel slightly poorer now that it is done.