Money is the New Money

It would seem that in the age of growing consumerism, and the middle-class, where every Tom, Dick, or Harry is able to purchase a Louis Vuitton handbag, or a DKNY pair of sunglasses, (whatever happened to Ray-Bans?), spending money is still the best way to show the world you have money.

Everyone's getting in on the act. From teenagers who buy RM13 cups of coffee from a place that doesn't even offer a big screen TV to watch football on, to municipal governments that spend RM4,446 on a set of writing instruments, it would seem that the days of excess and overspending are back. The Rolex days returns.

Of course its easy to seem well-off when you are earning thousands of dineros a second, but what about those who earn less then RM9,450,000 a year? (DRB-Hicom's MD, Khamil Jamil, which for a company that isn't even profitable, earns rather well). How are we to make a splash in this market? Let's start with food.

Why do restaurants do well? Because people have to eat. But everyone knows its not what you eat, but where you eat that matters. That said, you should not be seen eating at the local food court. That would be very proletariat. You deserve nothing but the best! Any restaurant that offers a meat in "jus" would do. What's "jus"? I don't know! But it sure sounds foreign.

Speaking of foreign, why do you torture yourself by buying a Proton? Its known for years that their cars are very uncool. Why not trade in that Proton Satria for something more "you". A Ford Focus maybe? Or you could pull out all the stops and get yourself that hideous BMW 1-series. It may not look good, but at least you can say you own a Beemer which, as a whole, is fabulous.

Why smoke a Salem, when you could be sucking on an Avo Uvezian No. 5, Dominican Republic’s finest offering? You may not be able to smoke as much, but cigarettes are very commoner anyway. Oh, and by the way, smoking kills you.

On the subject of killing yourself, put that beer can down now! What you need is a $200,000 bottle of Moet Hennessy, only a hundred times the price of what Phua Chu Kang used to drink! It’s a bargain!

The best fashion statement is of course, a watch. We may not be able to buy that $220,000 Louis Vuitton Tambour Tourbillon gold watch. But you don’t have to! A modern Swatch would be enough. You can’t afford not to.

Since we are at that beautiful number of 220,000, that is excally the price of that new 103-inch Panasonic plasma television. You might have to knock down your front door and half a window to get it inside, but it’s worth it! It really is!

There you have it! Who needs 10 million a year to live the good life? Just give me 1 million, (which is totally reasonable), and I can have a great time!