My aspirations for 2007

One month down the line, most of us have already started college. Others now have part time jobs. I think we can predict whats in store for us in 2007 based on our experiences in the first month. So;

1. May your train or bus arrive on time, and may you enter to find a comfortable seat devoid of chewing gum, snoring neighbours, or under a strong air conditioning vent that ruins your hairstyle. If you are fortunate enough to have a car, may you never encounter a traffic jam, and may you never stumble upon maniacal drivers who think its cool to drive around in a ridiculously modified hatchback with a loud stereo, exhausts from a space ship, and 3 big spoilers. If you have have such a car, may you come to your senses soon.
2. May you always find a parking space on your first or second go around. May that parking spot be near the entrance/exit, and may your car stay safe from thieves, vandals, or a leaking pipe carrying waste.
3. May your cellphone never run out of power when you are outside your house, and may the reception remain clear forever.
4. May all your classes/jobs be interesting to you even if it does not interest others.
5. May you get away with all the mistakes you will make in moments of anger, drunkenness, insanity, carelessness, or just plain stupidity. Even if you do get caught, may you be wise enough to keep your mouth shut until a friend comes along to testify that you were in fact on the other side of town when that mistake occurred.
6. May you watch all your favorite shows on satellite TV without disturbances from bad weather, dust on your satellite dish, irritating siblings, or phone calls from people you rarely call and once you talk to them for 15 seconds, you realize why you never did. May your mom never decide to vacuum the living room when "The Simpsons" are on.
7. May your religious holidays, seaside vacations, and party weekends not be ruined by rain and is preserved through out the year no matter how miserly your college/boss is at giving holidays.
8. May you have the opportunity to spend time with your family, friends, potential friends, former enemies, or just yourself, laying in front of the TV, watching re-runs of Fear Factor.
9. May you be invited to every birthday party, BBQ, or social gathering in which you have a professional or personal interest. May you never be called upon to sing karaoke at those events, unless you wish to. May your next day hangovers end before lunchtime.
10. May your 2007 be as good as you deserve it to be. No wait, better then what you deserve.

I will end this post with a phrase I have learnt while in the USA.

You have a good one, ya hear?

Stereotypes in America

Before we continue, I'm afraid I have bad news. the other day I stepped on the scale in the bathroom and it turns out I am 1**lbs. Now this confused me, as me coming from Malaysia, I can only estimate things using the metric system. Nevertheless, when I gave my weight to my cousin, who is currently in medical school, he told me that I have gained 5 kilos in my 3 week stay here in the United States. 5 KILOS! Its amazing I am not needing a heart pump as I am typing this. Can you imagine! 5 KILOS! That's a third of the weight of my luggage I brought here, and I tell you, I'm pretty sure I did not eat 1/3rd of my clothes. 5 kilos. That could mean the difference between being a marathon runner, and having a stroke. I need to go on a diet. Maybe I'll change my daily 7-UP to a diet Pepsi, and we will see how things turn out.


On with your regularly scheduled programs



The 5 stereotypes that have been crushed:

1. The people are segregated.
2. People are not friendly, and will not talk to you.
3. People from other factions don't interact with one another.
4. Black people fight with the white people.
5. Seniors pick on juniors.

All of the above are untrue. As much as I have been told of the chasm between the blacks and the whites, I have never seen it happen. Never. I have been to school for the 3rd week now, and everyone talks freely among each other naturally. Kinda reminds me of old alma mater, Victoria Institution.

Despite the numerous occasions in which I have been told that I have to be the one to make contact with people, as it is an accepted fact that most people will not approach you to be friends, I have already had half the senior year come up to me to say hi. Many still do today. I have never approached anybody, and quite frankly, the uncalled for warnings before departure did nothing but scare me into seriously not going to school on my first day, purely out of fright. I probably have over 30 people whom I am on friendly terms with now, and I can proudly say, I remember almost half of their names.

Contrary to how an American high school is portrayed in movies, there to be many cliques, these just are not available in my school. What jocks? What nerds? What skaters? No such thing.

Another thing that really amazed me was the relationship between the senior classes and the freshmen and the sophomore class. Unlike back in Malaysia, where the 'juniors' get picked on for being younger, this sort of thing is almost unheard of in my school. I found out this fact when I was watching my fitness class, (which is mixed between the seniors and the juniors), fooling around on the basketball court. Never have I seen such a friendly bunch of people. they readily passed the ball to the smaller students without hesitation. They spoke words of encouragement to each other if anyone missed a shot, they cheered when anyone scored a basket. It was an inspiring sight. Amazing! I my old school, the seniors would only talk to the juniors when they needed money, and cheered them on in games if they have money betted on them. Threats were usually involved. the only recorded time of the seniors listening to the juniors would be after the police arrive, once the junior boy was fling through a second story window.

Although I have sworn to never talk about my life, deeming it to be an example of vanity, I simply had to tell everyone that all the pre conseptions I had, that some of you may share, are completely false.

To my co-workers, who are also putting their lives on the line in the spirit of good diplomacy who are experiencing a different situation then what I'm going through, I say this;

Sucks that you aren't in the Midwest, doesn't it?

Maybe I Don't Hate Snow After All

You may remember my last post, when I briefly mentioned my ongoing feud with snow. The white menace has been a cold, disturbing thorn in my side. Nevertheless, I am actually looking forward to it snowing this weekend. The answer is stunningly obvious. It can be summed up in one word. That word is snowballs.

There may be nothing more satisfying then taking an enemy, like snow, and turning it into a weapon that is to be unleashed on those smaller and weaker then me. As stated in the Art of War, turn ones adversaries against one another. (OK, I made that up). But history has shown otherwise:

Before one duke invaded another state in ancient China, the duke printed up a list of several high-ranking ministers in the enemy's court. He stated that these people were working for him, and that they would bring him victory. The opposing duke sentenced those officials who were on the list to death, thus sealing his own ruin, as those men were the people who were running the country. that state fell as the first state invaded it.

But enough about the boring historical facts, the point is, never to dirty ones fingernails in a protracted battle with an adversary who is as strong, or stronger then you. That's my philosophy. (No not really).

The truth is, I am completely out of things to write at this point. I could write about my time here, my eminent waltz lessons starting next month, the 2 birthday parties I am invited to, the new gray business suit I just bought, or the fact that I am having a wonderful time here and I surrounded by many wonderful people, but that would just be boasting. But its true. I'm having the time of my life here, and I hope the time to return will never come.

Its a pity about the weather though.

Wonderful Snow? Hah!

I added another item to my hate list today. There was no elaborate ceremony. It just occurred, in the moment. Here's how it happened:

I went to school today. I was wearing a long sleeves shirt with a sweater. I went to get my timetable. And I made chorale, which seems to be Advanced choir. everyone sang like angels. The students there then took me to lunch. They have Dominos pizza there! That's cool.

So far, it may seem like I'm having a wonderful time. Yes, I am. Nevertheless, behind his exterior of friendly people, interesting classes and good food, there lies a powerful nemesis that reeked havoc with my person. It was the weather.

Coming from a tropical country, I have never experienced snow before. Like the fool I am, I did not really protect myself from the cold. I now am ill. Because of the dryness of the air, my throat is now sore and my nose is bleeding half the time. Its not easy trying to sing with the Niagara Falls up your left nostril.

I expected snow to be a little different. I thought snnow would be white and pretty and soft. It certainly does not look like the postcards I have seen. Its usually frozen, messy from the tyre tracks and brown. None of my photos will have any snow in it. Its just plain ugly.

Although I am much better now, I know, that outside the warmth and comfort of the home, it waits for me and if it has the chance, it will kill me. That is why it has made my hate list.

What are the other things on my list? Well they are, smokers, male chauvinists, environmentalists, and my own humanity. I hate all those things.

Bad Service? We Expect it.

Today is a momentous day for my blog. Today's article will be about what I did today. Most people use blogs as an online diary, a place where they can tell the world what they had for lunch today, or how many times they went to the toilet. At first I had not planned to write little, if anything that gives you, the readers of this blog, a clue to my lifestyle. I try to maintain slight bit of mystery about me. That ends today.

I went back to my old school today. It was smaller then I remembered it. Maybe. I can't remember. I got too drunk during my after school's parties I wouldn't recall the class I was in, much less the table I sat at. Luckily, my friend Vincent, who manages to remain much more sober then me, was also at school that day. With his help, I found the staff room and such.

Talking to teachers is easier now. The shadow of authority that used to enshroud them like a protective cover against the uneducated masses; (me and you), was now non-existent. To my surprise, two of my friends, (I'd like to call them that), are now student teachers, waiting for their STPM results. Perhaps they had forgotten how they were like two years ago. I wish them luck. They will need it.

But now, I'm drifting. So anyway, Me and my friend went to Megamall for lunch. We took the LRT from Hang Tuah to Bandaraya station. We then took a KTM train to Megamall.

One thing about our local trains. They are too mind-bogglingly slow. The only reason the Japanese Imperial Army stole our bikes on the way from Thailand is, if they had taken a train from Perlis to Singapore, they would only get as far as Batu Gajah by the time the Americans bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Through their spies, they knew that cycling 500km on old trunk roads would be faster then taking our trains.

We went to Chili's in Megamall for lunch. for anyone who has been there when you were young, you can notice a huge difference. The quality of the service.

When you came with your parents, you were treated like royalty. There would be someone smiling to open the door for you, another smile as you are guided to a table, a smile as you got your menu, and finally they waited on your table as you decided what to order.

If you are a teenager and you go to a steak house, you are going to receive bad service. It doesn't matter if you were the heir to the Genting fortune, or Crown Prince of Chekhajerbainistan. Waiters won't trust you to pay for your their services because you are an untrustworthy teenager.

I had to open the door myself, someone pointed to an empty table and we got our menus as we were walking in. It was not peak hour either. Thanks to the efficiency of the local train service, we arrived at the restaurant at 2.37pm. Hardly a busy time. Our order did not even merit writing on a proper order slip. I was written on the back of the order book, on the brown paper.

Even after I gave the internationally recognised 15% tip, (a sizable amount as the meal for two had cost RM136.45), no one batted an eyelid. The door was half-opened by a busboy who merely mumbled a "thank you for coming", before closing the door on my back.

The thing is, I know they are capable of so much more, as I had come here before with my parents. If you are a working adult in your mid-twenties, they treat you as if you were about to buy every waiter a new car. If you are a teenager, they everyone thinks you are about to rob the place, burn it down, then pee on the ruins. Its appalling.

Why all this distrust? In my opinion, It began with that boy who yelled wolf.

By bringing the entire village, who were all made up by adults, come running to him as a prank, he has betrayed our kind.

Now all people has an unfounded bias towards teenagers. Adults must know that not all teenagers are money-grubbing no-good, hip-hoppers, gang-banging, donkeys that should all be in prison. The time to change is now.

When was the last time you had bad service because you were young? How many sales clerks has fawned over your parents who were buying a gift for you while completely ignoring you? Its time to stand up for our rights, as consumers with money. It may be our parents money, but the people in sales should know that its us who spend it. Should you recieve bad service, just walk away. The sales assistants should know that they had failed to close a sale that day, and change their habits.

It won't happen overnight, but I dream for a day when both parents and children be treated as equal customers. For now, I'll just dress older and bore my guests about talk of 12% interest rate per annum, and tip toe should I need help in a purchase.


P.S. : You may recall in my last post, I was not going to post anything today. Well, I lied. And you know, as a teenager, I can't be trusted.

Exercise? Me? I'll give it a shot.

I am not fat. I just have big bones. Exercise is a foreign word to me. I know jogging equals cardiac arrest. All things considered, I am not the best cantidate for a job protecting the country by way of the army. You can imagine my happiness then, when I found out I wasn't chosen to undergo the 3 months of physical torture known as National Service.

No wait. You couldn't possibly imagine it. Think of a guy who just became a grandfather, found a piccasso in his store room, and won the lottery, and you would only see half the happiness I experienced on the day the long list of unfortunate victims appeared in the newspaper.

Most of my friends will know my anti-exercise point of view. Thus I thought my parents were joking when they told me they had got me a gym membership. A very sick and twisted sense of humour they have. I was desperately trying not to luagh when they explained I had to go at least twice a week. Even the biting of huge chunks of cheek did not stop me from bursting into laughter when they told me I should go there at 8am to beat the crowds. Only the cold look only parents can give silenced me.

I suppose it was a thoughtful gift. I understand the hidden message completely. So I went. I survived an hour and a half in the gym. It ended when I had a stroke.

I do admit, I did have fun somewhat, right up to that heart attack. The cold shower afterwards was probably as close to heaven on earth in my opinion. Pushing myself to make that one more lift, then doing it, was great. I'm no adrenaline junkie, but you could get addicted to it.

Thats why tomorrow, I will not be posting an entry on my blog. I am going to the gym.

Goodbye 2006!

Wow! The new year is here.

It was just yesterday that both the American and Malaysian stock exchanges broke records. Coups were launched in the Phillipines and in Thailand. Bird flu came back then went away again. The never ending war in the middle east flared up then died down. Italy and the US both gained new governments. 3 techno nerds gained $1.65 billion. Warren Buffet gave away countless more billions. A pope was lost and gained. The president of Iran showed his stripes. George W Bush lost his stripes. We were named the persons of the year. We all aged a year.

Perhaps as the new year begins, its time to take stock. Time to forget the old, get the new.

Thus here is the report for my financial year ending 1 January 2007.

Life has been gaining a lot of just plain stuff, or doodads that make life more liveable. Operations that accually generate cashflow however, were not added to.

External building has seen expanding rapidly, expecially around the middrift. Physical structure has lost the shine and the glow seen in the previous year. Admited, 2005 was a boom year in the social calender. Free time created by misconseption that being in Form 4 means you don't have to work hard created much in terms of shareholder value has caused much depreciation in the firm's stock price in the year 2006, primarily because of SPM.

In terms of management, the governing body has matured, not just caused by a penchant for white wine. For the first 2 quarters of 2007, management and primary operations will be relocated to the United States. Although the move is highly risky, the long term gains will hopefully make up for any early loss.

Below are the major changes to day-to-day operations that have been carried out:

1. This firm has seen an increase in the reading of comic books. Mainly stupid ones with BOOOOOM and KERPLOOOW. Comics were bought at the magazine stall, browsing over the Far Eastern Economic Review. Is this cause for concern?
2. I can now fry anything reasonably well except fish. But as you know, fish is the only thing that matters.
3. I bought many books. Read a few of them too.
4. I lost money gambling on the World Cup. Swore to never bet again. I then bet with a friend how long I can keep that bet. Failing to see the irony at first, I lost that bet as well.

Well goodbye 2006. It has been fun. I'm gonna miss you.