Going home!

3 weeks from today, I shall be packing up my goods and establishing my new base of operations in Washington D.C. in lieu of returning to normal business back home in Malaysia. What has changed? Was the benefits, if any, worth the last two quarters I have spent in the United States? Would our main line of business have to be modified? Many questions, of which I will provide no answers. After all, the quarterly report isn't due for another 5 weeks.

One thing that did change however, is the corporate culture of this institution. The many organs have seemed to be slowing down. Is it relaxing? Is it laziness? Whatever it is, we will be packaging it as achieving enlightenment, and flog it off to the highest bidder.

How has the management changed? Despite the relocation of the main company operations to the U.S, most of management has stayed behind in Malaysia. The joint Chairpersons, (mom and dad), has resolved to allow the burgeoning corporation to be controlled purely by market trends, and the capabilities this CEO and of middle management. Nevertheless, despite several cases of abuse of the corporate spending account, (suits, lobster dinners, company plane), in the first quarter, reports indicate that corporate output will meet expectations. My admiration to the board for their oversight/foresight.

Indeed, when I said left alone, I really mean left alone. Communications between this CEO and the board back home was done through several phone calls a month. This blind faith in management is deeply appreciated.

What awaits this corporation back home? Surely the social moments shared with partner companies would be enjoyed, if not celebrated. It would be especially fun as most other corporate entities have achieved the age of 18, thus freeing them from the legislation which prohibits tobacco and alcohol. Operating expenses will surely rise as a result. (just kidding, mom!)

Not only that, but once this company gets proper approval by the government, allowing me to drive, we shall be breaking ground on the use of the company car, (a Jaguar is preferred, but I can be persuaded to accept the Honda Civic. We will talk later, dad!). Speaking of perks, a lifetime membership to the local fitness club has been awarded, making it the 3rd membership. No offence intended, but I would rather have the money.

We need to discuss my salary and the size of the expense account when I get back.

Such perks does not come without responsibilities however. With the rewarding of a car, this corporation will be solely responsible in the transportation of sister corporation to human resources improvement classes, i.e. school. The terms of the contract is accepted with the condition there is a full tank of gas provided, free of charge, any time I should require it. Perhaps the firing of non-essential staff might help, (start with dog).

I guess that's it. To all my friends here in the U.S, I say goodbye. And to my enemies here, I say good riddance. I am looking forward to seeing my family again, as well as my personal trainer, whom I hope is as inept as a goldfish doing push-ups. You will have a tough time dealing with me. Giving up is greatly appreciated.

To my friends, you will be pleased to know I have not changed much. To my enemies, I'm sorry, but I haven't changed much. I will still hunt all of you down, and run you all out of business. Hope to see you all soon!