Sorry for my long leave of absence, but my computer was attacked by spam and succumbed to its injuries a few weeks ago. My baby is fixed now and it is fighting fit!
Anyway, during this constant bombardment of advertisements and links to various organizations who want to sell me things, I came to the realisation that, I can make a joke about this. Due to something known as targeted advertising, it may be a fair to make the assumption that the spam is a good indicator of what Internet users (the targeted audience of such ads), are actually like. The results of my findings are worrisome, to say the least. Internet users have many problems, physically and mentally.
Firstly, it would seem like Internet users are all wanting to travel. I am constantly bombarded by spam offering discount cruises or a free trip to the romantic destination that is Bosnia. One of these days I might just take that free trip to Sudan that I have been cleared for. We must stop to smell the flowers while we cut down the trees and all that jazz.
It would also seem that all Internet users who have left school are wanting to re-meet with their old school friends. Now I don't know how you think, but all the friends I would want to meet I either still am in contact with, or I'm plainly not interested. Does this mean I'm not normal?
Internet users are also mostly single, in search for their soul mate through matchmaking applications online. I am testament to that. I use the Internet and I am single and looking. And I am sure that they can find me a girlfriend based on comparing my credit card number with that of potential candidates. I'm sure a lot of science goes into this process.
Many Internet users also have a problem with their software, and I am talking about the softest kind of software. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it seems that Internet users all have tiny penises. At least the men do. I have never thought it would be possible to, you know..... be enlarged in some areas. Not that I should care, but I am starting to take offence. Do they know something I don't?
On the subject of health, many websites offer cholesterol killers, medicines offering to cut down cholesterol. There is also an abundance of heart medicine, as well as slimming potions. This proves that Internet users are overweight, with heart problems and afraid of exercise. I am very sure the pills in question have gone under strict and vigorous supervision and testing by the companies and the government before they are allowed to market these drugs to millions of people over the Internet.
Well, I am worried about my findings, and I think you should be too. Obviously, we as fat individuals on the Internet should get off our cushioned seats and spend more time in the gym. All this must be done before funeral companies decide to advertise over the Internet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
don't you think internet has become what we used to call "couch potatoes" to certain people such as yours truly?
i have to admit those ads are sometime very lucrative and attractive - who doesn't want to win cruise trip to the Caribbeans?
I'm interested on purchasing Zantrex 3 now.
Ken Ming, things will be so much better if you choose to browse with Mozilla Firefox or Opera. Microsoft Internet Explorer gives you lots of problems, namely spams and pop-ups...
And I thought THAT one is hardware, not software. *laughs*
Post a Comment