Intermission

Its been a while, hasn't it? Too long? Maybe. What can I say?

Life has been good, apart from the times when it wasn't. Exams have been good, apart from the times I failed. I've lost weight, then gained weight, then lost the gained weight, before gaining back the lost weight. My scale's getting worn out.

Found many links to new blogs. No links to my site, but then again, I don't really know you people, right?

Exams are coming up. They start on the 22nd of October, (hint, that's 2 days after my birthday) Guess I now have a reason not to blog. Too busy. Maybe.

I'll keep writing. There has to be lots to talk about, right?

The Charge of the Facebook 200

Its been a while, I know. I'm sorry. I haven't felt up to writing lately. Why a post now? Well, there's a story behind that......

Like most of you Generation Y-sters, I recently signed up for a social networking site. Two actually, Friendster and Facebook. I had no idea joining these networking sites would unleash the Pandora's Box that it did.

Since my inception, I have received no less then 180 emails from said sites, telling me of your birthdays, friend's requests, application adverts, etc... Not exactly the "200" as I mentioned in the poem below, but close enough for the purpose I should think. Anyway, it probably might reach the 200 mark before my next post at the rate its coming in, (and at the rate I blog too).

It has rendered my gmail not completely useless, just more difficult to use. I now have to keep my eye out for possible important messages, through all the junk that has saturated my first page for the week.

I know you mean well, and maybe I'm just a little old fashioned, but really! Whatever happened to good old face-to-face interaction?

Anyway, here you go, my latest poem. Enjoy!


The Charge of the Facebook 200

Hour by hour,
Surging and flooding,
All in my Inbox,
Came the 200.
From Vincent at No.1,
To Trisha when the day is done,
All into my Inbox,
Came the 200.

Friendster gets tossed aside!
“You won’t be forgotten,” I lied.
Don’t like the adverts beside,
They are distractive:
Happily, they send me mail,
“Stop!” says I, but to no avail,
Fought my SPAM blocker tooth and nail,
Into my Inbox,
Came the 200.

Sharing their hopes and dreams,
Favorite stars on the movie screens,
I don’t know what it means!
Invites and comments and,
Responses galore:
Their’s not to pause and blink,
Their’s not to stop and think,
Their’s just to click the link!
Into my Inbox,
Came the 200.

Friendster to the right of them,
MySpace to the left of them,
Hi5 in the face of them,
Local and global.
Shouted at by family,
Bravely they let it be,
Into my Inbox,
With strength and energy,
Came the 200.

News feed to the right of them,
Photos to the left of them,
The Wall at the front of them,
Sparkled and shined:
Hassled by crappy taste,
No, I don’t wanna see your face!
Poking the human race.
Whizzing through the Internet-
Words spread in lowercase,
Harbingers of the future!
Sent the 200.

When will the mail decrease?
When shall the barrage cease?
All the world wondered.
No one can say for sure,
Sadly, they shall endure.
Irksome 200!

Food Found, Food Rejected

The other day I was at an eatery so amazing, it merits a long-unawaited blog post. As you know, it has been over a month since I last posted anything, so this place must be quite astounding.

I use flowery words like "amazing" and "astounding", but that doesn't mean the place I went to, was any good. In fact, I would not recommend that place to any of my dear friends. Pretty much like the spaghetti shoppe near my college, it is an interesting concept that has ventured into the bizarre. I am referring, of course, to Paddington's House of Pancakes, to be found at the basement of the underground passage between old and new MidValley Megamall.

Oh sure laugh, but your guffaws only shows your ignorance in the matter. What could be so wrong about a shop that specialises in pancakes?

I'll start from the beginning, since it is a far more obvious choice and would make much more sense then if I were to start from the ending. There's the weird decor. Classic marble on one side, decorated with Chinese angpows and posters. Coffee-shop style wood with mirrored inlay on the other side. Red Italian leather seats that clash with the sturdy stone tables. I cannot recall the colour of the floor, but it was reminiscent of vomit, I think.

The menus arrived, after much difficulity. The waitress was positively struggling under the weight of the leather-bound food catelogues. I don't blame her. I could barely lift the menu myself. It offered a wide range of pancake-related dishes, but only found after the company profile, director's letter, etc. It would not be uncommon for someone to mistake it for an investment portfolio, or their annual company finances.

The waiter wore a large gold sign with the words, "I AM NEW" written accross it. I wonder how new do you have to be to be considered new in a restaurant that only opened a week ago. Go figure.

The food, it was good. The price, outrageous. I am never setting foot in there again.

That is of course, a friend wanted to go there, then who am I to oppose?

Christmas List

1. "A"s for my exams; Good results will only lead to better things. It'll be a sign that I am smart enough no take it a little easier next semester. It will give me bragging rights, not to mention the things I might get from my parents who expect this kinds of things. (CAR!!)


2. Prunes; They are good for anemia and constipation.


3. A car to call my own.


4. Double-A batteries; No matter how many you buy, there is never enough of them is there?


5. The death of Sean Kingston/ or the banning of his biblically idiotic song which is popular only because he croons the words "suicidal" all the bloody time.


6. World peace?; I'm becoming idealistic now.


7. A jar of Marks and Spencer's Free Trade Marmalade (thick cut); Its good. Healthy too. Well, a marmalade sandwich is healthier then a roast leg of lamb for breakfast isn't it?


8. Nobel Prize for Physics; Why does potato chips always crumble into more then two pieces? I have the answer. I'm not going to publish them here in case someone steals the evidence before I can claim credit for it.


9. An explanation as to why a batch of transparent ballot boxes cost RM16 million. I mean if there are 219 seats representing 219 constituencies, that would mean, each voting station needs RM73000 worth of transparent boxes? Someone has made an accounting blunder somewhere. They could at least have tried to get a discount.


10. Happiness and prosperity to all my friends and family members. After all, where would I be if not for you lot, propping me up like that? Laughing at my lame attempts at comedy. Pretending to laugh at my lame attempts at comedy. Asking me to explain my last lame attempt at comedy.

The Fatkins Diet

It is of course that time of the year again. The holidays. A time of sleeping late, hard partying, overeating, and laziness. In that sense, much like normal college life, only it is during the rainy season.

It is then appropriate then to create a dieting program, in order to maintain whatever figure you care to keep.

Breakfast (around 2pm)
You might find the time I suggest weird. Not exactly. My theory is, if you eat only 2 square meals a day, you would effectively be cutting off 1/3rd of your daily intake of those wretched calories. Still, many have asked. (well they would have asked, but I have not posted this blog yet when I write it, but many will). Still, why breakfast, and not lunch? Well, I guess even if you wake up at 1pm, lets not let standards drop by cancelling breakfast. It is, after all, the most important meal of the day.

So, for breakfast, what is needed is something which gives you energy and is filling. Might I suggest oatmeal? It is full of fibre, and the best thing of all, it tastes horrible. The reason behind this is, if you don't like it, you would be less inclined to finish it. And if you didn't finish, read my lips, you eat less!

And that is the secret, the less you eat, the less you gain. Its that simple.

Lunch (6-8pm)
Before the many observations I have made, I would have suggested something heavy, preferably with cream, to lull the body into a relaxed state, so you can fall asleep. Its not easy falling asleep at 9pm, considering you only woke up 8 hours ago, but with proper training and dedication, I'm sure you can do it!

This method is based on the scientific principle that nobody can eat while sleeping. Not even the fattest, most capable multi-tasker can achieve that feat.

Dinner (sometime around midnight)
If you are like me, and nearing the limits of unconsciousness, you will awaken sometime around 11pm. At this time, you might be feeling peckish, and in need for something with meat in it. I would not suggest fruit, because most fruits are sweet, and sweet means sugar, and sugar means more energy, can't sleep. A leg of lamb is much better. Or a McDonald's burger. They do deliverys now you know.

Once satisfied, its off to bed again. Keep this diet for several weeks and you will see a tremendous change! Honestly!



(The writer is not liable for any unforeseen incidents related to the implementation of said diet. The Fatkins diet is meant to be used with and not as a substitute to exercise. My result in gross unhappiness, bad breath, lethargy, internal bleeding, hallusinations, lack of blood to the brain occationally resulting in thinking one is an antique grandfather clock, muscle spasms, stiffness in the toenails, and a fondness for purple shorts. Use at one's own risk)